ABOUT MICKEY -
who was loved by all
In 2007, Mickey was interviewed. Here is the article - http://www.americanrenal.com/news/Patient_Comfort_RBT_5-1-07.pdf
Mickey often had concerns about the unit being freezing cold. Other patients, as well, had the same concerns; some voicing such, others did not want to speak out. The cold air blowing directly on him made some of his treatments uncomfortable resulting in leaving dialysis early. Indeed, some of the staff attempted to fix the problem, but it was never truly resolved. Some times it was okay, but, for the most part, he was uncomfortable. Often patients had heavy blankets over them, because the cold air was blowing directly on them. Mickey dressed appropriately for dialysis, layered clothes, blankets, etc., but when cold air is blowing on one's face and neck, it is most uncomfortable. Apparently, a problem within the air conditioning system that, for whatever reason, he, and his family, believed was never fixed correctly.
Another problem was that the dialysis chairs were not made for comfort. The same chair was for a frail 125 lb patient and a 300 lb patient. This was hard on Mickey's back and often he experienced back pain during dialysis. Trying everything to ease the discomfort, even to the point of asking if he could have his own chair at the unit. Chairs were not made for comfort but for durability.
Pictured below is Mickey -- >Mickey loved to live life to its fullest. Even when he was not feeling well, he would push himself to go out for coffee, in the morning, at his favorite place, Einstein's Bagels, where he would have his morning coffee, bagel and cream cheese. He would gather and talk to friends about everything from the weather to politics. One person, in particular, that he enjoyed conversing with was John. He would look forward to their stimulating conversations focused on world events, etc. Everyone at Einsteins loved him so much. He would order his bagel almost burnt and once his bagel, while toasting almost caught on fire. Everyone at Einsteins greeted him with a burst of cheer. He enjoyed others and even ran into one of his first dialysis nurses, who he adored, at Einsteins one day. She only took care of him for a short time, then left dialysis. For his 91st birthday, Einsteins made him a huge bagel that was about 10 inches long and 3 inches high. After his death, so many people told us how he brought something special into their life. He had such wonderful presence about him, as many told us. When we asked him what he wanted for his 91st birthday, he just wanted to be with family and have his favorite meal, bar-b-que ribs. We (Dad, his girlfriend, his daughters, and son-in-law), all went out for ribs. He enjoyed that more than anything, having those he loved and who loved him be with him. That was June 19, 2010 and on July 14th, 2010, a month later, he passed away at the age of 91. He will be missed by all who knew and loved him. This is a tribute to you, Dad, from those who loved, and will always love you and have you in memory and spirit. We will remember your telling us "I will be looking down on all of you". We miss you. We are sorry that you had to endure, at times, what you did during and after dialysis.
Dad and his cat, Paddy.
Dad and Paddy found each other during a visit to Suzy and Chuck's house (daughter and son-in-law) on Whidbey Island, Washington State. Dad loved telling the story about how Paddy ran through the cat door and made immediate friends with him and how his two daughters (Roberta and Suzy) took Paddy to the Vet to make sure she was okay and then surprised him and said, 'she is okay to take back to San Diego'. We did not know where Paddy came from, she was out in the wild in the country, but found her way to our father. He always loved telling people how, on the plane back to San Diego, the stewardess let him take Paddy out of her carry case so she could sit on his lap and how Paddy looked out the window for the entire flight and how the stewardess loved Paddy. He was always excited about this and loved telling the story because there were other people on the flight who had animals with them, and as he would say, 'even a celebrity or someone like that had an animal, but they would not let her take her animal out of the cage, but I could'. He also loved that several of the flight attendants gathers round him.
Dad taught Paddy to stand on her hind legs and beg for cat treats. He loved having Paddy show her talents to everyone who came to visit.
After each dialysis treatment, Dad would come home, often feeling extremely fatigued and generally bad. He would go to bed and immediately Paddy would jump up on the bed and sit on his stomach/chest area to let him know she loved him and knew he did not feel well. He loved this and would pet her and talk to her. She would do this every night even if he did not have dialysis. This time was very special for him, bringing him comfort, and when she had a stroke and he had to put her to sleep, he was very saddened as he missed this special time with her. But, he, also had "Kitty".
This is Ms Kitty, a Main Coon weighing in at 14 lbs.
Kitty had her own little table for dinner so that she and Dad could eat together. This started when Mickey's wife, Lila, was in the hospital around 2001-2002. Originally, we got Kitty for our mother who was ill. Mother loved Kitty and when Kitty would nip at her, mother would call the nips - 'love bites'. When mother died, in 2002, Kitty became attached to Dad.
Dad would call Kitty at night when he was in bed, and she would jump, or rather take a huge leap over him to the other side of the bed and want him to rub her back and neck. He loved having her there with him. If he would stop rubbing her back or ears she would push against him hand telling him 'more, more'.
Dad loved telling people how she behaved e.g. she would test her drinking water first, before she drank any water e.g. dipping her paws into the water, then licking her paws and cleaning her face. He loved telling people about the long, long hair on her paws, covering her nails and how expressive her eyes were that one could almost tell what she was thinking. Kitty and Paddy, both, would sleep on the bed with Dad. Dad loved telling people how he taught Kitty to do tricks, just like Paddy, e.g. beg for treats by standing on her hind legs. She would follow him all over the house and each time he was in the kitchen, she was ready to eat. About a week before Dad died, he looked at Kitty, as she sat on the floor next to the bed, and he said, "I am going to miss you Kitty". Kitty, the last few days of Dad's life, did not go near him, she knew he was going to die.
Dad's Best Friend, like a son
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Dad, in his homemade Mickey Mouse red tee shirt, at his surprise 90th birthday party, with his best friend, Tony Gallo. Dad loved Tony like a son and Tony felt the same way. He loved Dad dearly. Dad and Tony went out together often for lunch and had wonderful, fun times. In Dad's last days of life, he and Tony were able to spend precious time together talking. Dad died on Tony's birthday. Tony is one of our family and always will be.
Dad loved the water
This is a picture of Dad, and his girlfriend, Barbara, who he loved very much. Sitting in front of the row boat is Dad's daughter, Suzy and her husband, Chuck. Dad loved to go out on the Lake. When he visited Suzy and Chuck, he loved going out on Puget Sound in their boat, much much bigger than a row boat, and this is where he and our mother wanted their ashes placed, over Puget Sound.
HAPPY 89th BIRTHDAY - SURPRISE
Dad at his surprise 89th birthday party. WOW was he surprised as his girlfriend, Barbara, opened the door and he walked in to see all the people. He loved having his home made tee shirts. His girlfriend, aka Minnie and Dad, aka Mickey. She had her own home made tee shirt that said "Minnie Loves Mickey - Mickey is 89' He loved life and loved having fun and acting young.. He was a kid at heart and loved acting young and felt young. No one loved living more than he did and he cherished every moment of his life.
At the age of 89, Dad went for a ride on the back Chuck's Gold Wing Motorcycle. (waiting for picture). He loved it, we think!!!!
Mom and Dad
A hand painted picture of Mickey and his wife, Lila. They were married two months short of 60 years. Lila died in 2002. Mother and Dad loved each other dearly. Mother was the most caring person, always giving of herself. We miss her.
HAPPY 90TH BIRTHDAY - SURPIRSE
Dad at his 90th birthday party with his red home made Mickey Mouse shirt, eating delicious cake. He loved to party and he loved being the 'life of the party'
This is Dad on July 2nd, 2010, while having dialysis. He's wearing one of his favorite tee-shirts, 'mickey mouse', as you can see. With his headphones on, smiling, listening to his favorite music. A cover on the chair to keep warm as the vinyl-like material was always cold. His seat was in the corner (window on his right side, dialysis machine on his left side). Behind him is the nurses station. You can see a water cooler. We sat with Dad, for all his dialysis treatments, at his request. He wanted someone with him for his own comfort. It was hard to just sit for three, or more hours, with limited television, etc. For many years he watched a movie on his DVD player, but after a while, that became old and he did not want to do that. He listened to music, but having someone he loved with him brought him more comfort. Also, if staff were not present, in his immediate area, we could call for them. There were times when all staff were at the nursing station and could not view some of the patients, including dad, therefore, if there was a problem, we could call for staff to help. There were times that staff were not around and Dad needed assistance. A good thing that I was present with him. Patients' loved ones can play a vital role in the delivery of care by being present in the unit, being trained and educated in order to recognize potential problems in order to call staff if they are busy with another patient, etc. This is all part of patient-centered care. One thing we were thankful for was that our unit did allow visitors. This means so much to patients and often several patients even told us that they wished they had someone to sit with them. We never understood why some units did not allow visitors because it was a positive for patients.
This is Dad on July 9th, 2010 , Friday. Although, he did not feel well due to ongoing low blood pressures, he smiled for his picture.
On Saturday, July 10th, 2010, although he did not feel well, he pushed himself to go to his favorite coffee restaurant, Einstein's Bagels, with his girlfriend - for his coffee , bagel and cream cheese. Later in the day, still not feeling well, he wanted to continue to live life to its fullest. He went to the clubhouse to visit and socialize with his friends.
On Sunday, July11th he had great pleasure, joy and fun, playing his new electrical piano. He laughed and tried all the keys and sounds in spite of having a new onset of physical/medical difficulties, from what we believed was a result of continued low blood pressure during and after dialysis and inappropriate medication dosing (not from dialysis).
On Monday, July 12th, 2010, he experienced a difficult treatment with extremely low blood pressure. At the end of treatment he did not even have the strength to get in the wheelchair to go to the car as he usually did. He would transfer himself, standing and sit in the car. However, this time he barely could lift his hand, he was so weak. We had to call a transport company to bring him home via stretcher. His limp body had given up. A combination of continued low blood pressures during dialysis and not individualizing his medication (not by dialysis staff) we believe took a toll on him that hastened his death.
During his treatment his blood pressures were low, with an occasional high blood pressure. When we questioned the high blood pressure (sporatically throughout treatment, a few times), we were told by the RN 'it is a machine problem'. At the end of dialysis, as had been happening for numerous treatments, at times, his blood pressure continued to be low. Some times he had to stay for a while, after treatment, until his blood pressure was high enough to leave. Once, or twice, to recall, staff reinserted a needle to give him saline to raise his blood pressure. Then, they started giving him bouillon. He would be able to drink the cup of bouillon quickly and we would wait and see if his blood pressure went up. This last treatment, he could not even hold the cup of bouillon. I remember when the nurse said they would give bouillon, I looked at staff and asked if they were going to give him saline, but they said bouillon. The nurse left to get the bouillon, which seemed like a long time as we watched him decline and not even be able to hardly lift his head. We held his hand and I told him he would be ok. The nurse returned with the bouillon and was spoon-feeding him as he could hardly swollow and could not even hold the cup or spoon. Again, I mentioned saline but was told this was okay. His blood pressure was low then went higher to a one time blood pressure of 138 systolic (or thereabouts, from recall) (from 60 or 70, to recall). Having been told earlier that his blood pressure that was higher was a machine problem and not correct, we questioned this blood pressure but were not told it was okay. We were confused because early the inbetween higher blood pressures were contributed to a machine problem. He left dialysis and upon arriving home his blood pressure was 60 systolic. I remember calling the unit and telling the nurse. This was the beginning of his decline. No one could know if giving him saline instead of spoonfuls of bouillon would have helped and eased his discomfort - no one could know. But, we always wondered why if his condition was so drastically different than any other treatment, why saline was not administered. This post treatment was a severe change in that which had ever happened before. There were a few staff around him that you could see, in their eyes, the sadness of it all. Again, he knew which staff cared and which did not. We thank those staff who showed kindness and made him feel better when he was not feeling well. We thank those staff who went the extra step to ask him how he felt when he was not feeling well and those who cheered him. For those who ignored him and exhibited what we considered inappropriate behaviors towards him, because he was outspoken about his care e..g. implementing correct infection control practices, we hope that one day you realize that patients have a right to remind staff to implement correct practices -- it is the patient's life. We hope that one day these individuals do not resent patients reminding them to do the right thing. We ask these individuals is this the care you would want to receive or have a loved one receive?
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We are sorry Dad that you had to suffer, through so many uncomfortable dialysis treatments with continued severe low blood pressure that took a tremendous toll on you physically and emotionally. There were some staff who were so kind and caring and you knew who those staff were and you appreciated their kindness. But then, you knew, didn't you, who the staff were who pretended to care, but really did not, they were not very nice. You could tell. If only all those working in dialysis truly understood what the patient experienced, but many did not, it was obvious and it even appeared, at times, that some physicians did not understand. We are sorry that you had to experience some staff ignoring you, some staff not even asking how you were doing when it was obvious that you were having a bad day, some making inappropriate statements, and some even demonstrating harassing behaviors towards you causing great emotional distress. You did not deserve such. But some did not understand that you, as a patient, had a right, as did your family (your advocates) to ensure that quality safe care was always being delivered. You always said 'if you don't like what you are doing, you should not be working with patients.' Perhaps those staff who don't care ---might care one day--- when they are at the receiving end of care that is not what they expect. As you told us, we know you are looking down on us and you will always be with us in memory and spirit. You family and all who knew you love you and you will always be with us - always.
about Dad
